so like summer's been ok...

yea, I'm pretty bored right now... I'm in Yes Camp, but my partner and I are already done with everything, so we just have time to kill now.  I got my SAT Scores 1120, not really what I wanted.  I can't get into St. Edwards. 

Ray, you can't get into College Station, and I can't get into St. Edwards, we should help each other out. 

I went to my cousin's quince this weekend.  I had a lot of fun with my family.  I wanted Edgar to go, but my mom didn't let him go, so that was like the sad part about everything.  I was really depressed because she didn't let him go.  I don't see him much either, which has become a bigger problem than I expected.  I wish I could see him more.  See his smile more.  Everything's good now.  I'm glad we got things fixed.  This Sunday we have a year of knowing each other. It's going to be really special.  Hopefully, we'll be able to go to Peter Piper Pizza, and relive the moment we met.  It's unrealistic to look back on everything that has happened.  We barely met each other a year ago, and he's now the love of my life.  I want to marry him, spend the rest of my life with him, dedicate myself to him, and we've only known each other for a year.  It's hard to believe that I could love a man as much as I love Edgar.  He's perfect for me, he's so amazing and so caring.  He's bad ass and super sweet.  He's good looking, a major HOTTIE.  I love his smile, his strait teeth, the way his face lights up when I'm with him.  I love seeing him happy, knowing that I'm the person who brings the happiness to his life.  I would do anything to see him smile.  I want to spend more time with him, I want to see him more, I want everything to be as close to perfect as it possibly can.  I want to spend every moment of my life with him.  I wish he was here right now. 

I wish things weren't so hard.  We've almost had a year, and the situation with my mom has not gotten any better, it might have even gotten worse.  I'm trying to fix things, but I've gotten nothing but negative results.  I'm running out of things to do.  I need a vacation, time to relax and think about things.  A spa treatment would be nice.  I have hope, I'm just not sure if it's enough.

I have to go to band, if not, I don't get a marching spot next year, I'm sorry...so what do we do, do you still come, or do you want to just pick me up at 5:15?

I'm really sorry...

so I didn't go to hangar 21.  I wanted to go, but I ended up getting into another fight with my mom.  This year has not been very good for me in that aspect.  I fought with my mom more this year, than in any other year.  I've been through a lot with my mom, and every time I finish fighting with her, I feel super bad because I almost always make her cry.  Ya know, I've stood my ground, and have been super stubborn about me getting my way, and I know that I'm right, but it still hurts to hurt my mom.  We worked out an agreement for once.  Before I've just told her that I was gonna change, and I never did, but now, it feels kinda different.  We both gave up some things, so that's good, cause it feels nice to know she actually cares about me, and loves me enough to let go at least a little.  We had a very serious discussion, and she made me realize a lot of things, I just hope I made her realize certain things too.  I'm getting along with her more, even if it has just been established for only 2 days.  I've talked to her more, and I want to spend more time with her.  I feel I'm actually going to be able to have a healthy relationship with her, not just a relationship where we fight.  I feel very good about this compromise.  I think it couldn't of happened at a better time either.  I love my mom, and I don't wanna leave a year from now not being able to talk to her, or still having a problem with her.  I wanna leave knowing that I fixed things with my mom forever.  I really hope this works out.  She's like the only person who has been with me my entire life, and now I see that I can't loose that.  I can't loose the person who will always love me, who will always be with me, guaranteed, no matter what happens.  My mom has always been my support, and I really don't want one or two years of fighting to get in the way of all the other years I have been close to her.  

Those of you who read and are religious, pray for me, because I really want this to work out, this is something very needed, close, and important to me. 

-ira